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Falling in Love
Too Early (Heart-holder)
(July 16, 99 ~ Same
date)
I'm only fourteen,
how did it just happen to me?
I was just a normal girl,
but now love has made me whirl.
He and I could have met
later,
but now it doesn't really matter.
Just why do some of us get punished?
Our hearts are fragile and can break like a dish.
Just mindless things he
would say or do
makes me feel overwhelmingly blue.
I am one of the fragile types,
but I guess I'll have to be as strong as I might.
If I don't even attempt to
try,
I presume that I might not even survive.
I guess I just have to overlook the sad times,
and reminisce the joyous ones and I'll be fine.
The happy times when
he smiles warmly at me,
or when he cordially talks to me,
or when he gently taps at my shoulder.
I would smile wanting to ask,
'Did you know you are my heart-holder?’
I simply wonder.
I Cannot Stop Thinking of You
(July 17, 99 ~ Same date)
I wonder if it's right,
day and night,
constantly thinking of you.
I just simply don't know what I should do.
Whenever I look at myself
in a mirror,
your sweet face suddenly seems to appear.
I don't even need to be
reminded of you,
because thinking of you is like a daily routine
that I always do.
I try to distract myself
from thinking of you,
either read or watch television,
but it's not always a good decision.
It's just that your name
seems
to be heard on T.V. or on the radio,
and so many times have I seen your name
written on newspapers or books as if you're an idol.
No matter how hard I try
to distract you from my mind,
thoughts of you just abruptly turn around hitting from behind.
I guess it's just the nature of love being kind.
Oh dearly you, I wonder if
your love for me is really true.
Only if I knew, I won’t feel so blue.
I long for you to call me,
but the ring just never came.
My heart thumps hard as I hope that the ring
may be yours, but it’s not, and so always making me sore.
Just whenever that I stare
up at the white puffy clouds,
intimate clear thoughts of you simply scatter around,
making me smile all the way to my house.
I cannot stop
thinking of you....
I only wonder what if you actually knew.
You Increase My Heartbeat
(July 19, 99 ~ Same date)
Whenever you and I
meet,
our first glance always makes my heart beat.
Beating so fast, I had to walk away to calm myself
because that’s one thing that may help.
Sometimes you would
stare straight into my eyes,
making them immediately freeze like ice.
I would then feel as if I have no control whatsoever,
but not wanting it to end, never ever.
When you smile intimately at me,
I suddenly feel so free.
At the same time, it burns me like a fire.
So hot, making my heart beat like a siren.
One time when you sat so close, only few inches away,
I could barely concentrate on our conversation,
because all I wanted was for you to forever stay.
You were so close, so sweet,
making my heart the harder the beat.
Your every single
motive captures my heart,
aiming me with your expertise straight into my dart.
So warm is your smile, so sweet is your face,
making me shudder with joy all over the place.
My heartbeat is
always controlled you,
because you are the only one who can raise it up the
highest.
It’s simply because you are the best.
The best because you can make me feel either happy or
blue.
Oh sweet and
warmhearted you,
I must say you always increase my heartbeat.
Don’t ever doubt it, because it’s really
true.
Sleepless Because
of You
July 30, 99
(Produced within 44 mins.)
I went to sleep
about 2 a.m. today,
somehow I strangely woke up at 5 a.m.
I'm not sure exactly why,
but some things had diffused through my mind.
I had written down my memories of you before I went to sleep,
and then woke up to find myself thinking deeply of you.
Thinking of your sweet intimate smile,
I admit that it will always be warm and sincere with no denial.
Maybe thinking of you was what made me sleepless,
by offering the most intimate remembrance that will always last.
I had tossed and turned,
wanting you to be by my bedside once my eyes opened.
I guess that was too much to ask,
for when I opened them, nothing was present except memories.
I had secretly cried before I had gone to sleep,
only because of you lately have I weeped.
It's now seven-thirty a.m., and I still can't sleep.
My head spins circularly around reminiscing the past,
only to find those happy memories have already passed.
I long for them to return so I can be happy again.
but they can't; making me sore with pain.
The happy memories seem to make me cry,
and I'm not sure exactly why.
Probably because you were there with me then,
but now you are absent like a mysterious man.
I have never woken up so early thinking of someone,
what made you so powerful that you pilfered my sleep?
What made you so powerful that you seized my innocent heart?
It's plainly because I had never really been in love,
until you came into my life and became a part.
I miss you deeply;
thinking of you so much it's so hard to fall asleep.
Your Star Twinkling
Eyes
(August 6, 99 ~ Same date)
Sometimes I would look out
my window from my bed,
seeing the stars twinkle, I wanted you near so bad.
The stars will always be special because they were the only ones
that saw us one night after next staring upon them.
They were the only ones that knew how we both felt at the moment.
Were they the same feelings or were they different?
Your face was so
vivid and sweet,
I only wish you will someday be mines to keep.
My mind swirled with fear the night would soon end,
and then unfortunately, it really did.
It was all too soon, and my inside twisted with sadness and pain
as we separated once again....
I feel sadness when I look
upon the shiny stars,
because I’d remember that night when we stared upon them.
I’d remember your passionate eyes twinkling like the stars above,
as they stared into my eyes.
I longed and begged inside for that very moment to never die.
But at last it did, and I almost cried.
I dreamed of you that very
night,
so pleasant, so real, yet I knew it was too good to be true.
I was sad to find it was only a dream,
but maybe my dreams of you will someday come true.
£ove is £ike an Ocean
(August 10, 99 ~ Same date)
£ove is like an ocean.
Portions of it are shallow and transparent,
¥et other parts are deep and full of secrets.
§ecrets untold and mysterious.
£ove is like a flower.
It blossoms at day, sleeps at night.
ßoy, I wish you are holding me tight.
Only if you are, I’d feel like I’m on top of a tower.
£ove is like the weather.
§ometimes it’s gloomy and rainy.
§ometimes it’s sparkling and sunny.
Raining like tears falling off my cheek,
And shining like my inside when we meet.
£ove is like the wind.
Its power so strong,
While on other times it becomes weak.
ßut I become feeble instead when we don’t meet.
£ove is like an ocean,
§ometimes it’s too deep to reach.
ßut one day it’ll become shallow & things shall be easy to search.
Only You
(August 6, 99 Friday)
Flowers I
like,
Friends I enjoy,
Family I charish,
Faces I remember,
For you are the only one I fell in love.
Apples I eat,
America I live,
Animals I adore,
All I want is to see you more.
Cans I kick,
Carriers I pull,
Can I please hug more of you?
Teddy bears I hug,
There's no one else but you I love.
FACT is I found everything in a person I dreamt of,
And he is you, and you are the one I deeply love.
Missing Your Embrace
(Sept 5, 99 10:30 PM ~ 11:07 PM)
We embraced once,
we embraced twice.
Only your warmly hugs are so nice.
When I cry for whatever sadness,
only your hug can cure the pain.
Embrace me,
and I won't sink into this weeping sea.
Your embrace, so powerful...
yet how shyly you put your caring hands around me.
Few times we hugged,
and those were the only times I really felt loved.
We open our arms to each other,
and I wish someday we'll truly be together.
We embraced warmly;
making me never wanting to depart from your sweet arms.
The embrace so comfortable, so sincere,
its feeling will never ever disappear.
I had looked deeply in your eyes,
and I felt the love will never ever die.
I miss your gentle hugs.
Your hug that takes my breath away,
chasing any sorrow and pain still this day.
Days Without You
(Sept 20, 99 (Mon) 5 - 6:23 PM)
I sit behind the desk in
school.
There I sit silently, trying not to think of you,
But I do.
I rest my head against the white wall,
Wondering if you deeply love me after all.
My interior hurting and struggling the whole time,
Maybe every sweet words you said were only lies.
But looking straight into your eyes,
How could you ever really lie?
The school bell rang,
And then I was home.
Home alone, tears came.
Missing you, my heart and body fill with sorrow and pain.
I want to see you,
to embrace you,
to speak to you,
But how could it be if you are not to be seen?
I stare outside,
Hoping these unpleasant feelings
Developed while missing you to die.
I look upon the beautiful sky and evergreen trees,
Maybe one day you will know how much you mean to me.
If Only I Could Choose
(Sept 26, 99 (Sun) 2:02 PM - 2:50 PM)
I lie on my bed, writing
this poem.
No lights on, but only the light from the windows to this room.
Rain pouring outside like kids playing with their hose,
and thumping like my inside although windows are closed.
The sky so stormy,
just like my inside feeling so gloomy.
I muse of you each day,
missing the memories that seem to fade.
The traffic is incessantly going,
just like this love I have for you always wondering what you are doing.
I'm deeply in love with you,
but do you have any clue?
All I have from you now are memories,
the flower you once gave me,
the sweet words you once said sounding like glories,
and the beautiful card that gave me a feeling.
But if I could choose,
I would rather have you.
Just plain you,
for us to be together
is the dream I wish to come true.
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